For those who are interested and who haven’t read the first instalment on my blog of my research into the circumstances surrounding my adoption, check it out here:
https://vindengrace.com/announcements/adoption-a-tale-of-two-mothers/
Zip forward 5 months and….
The two biggest confirmations in this search to learn more about who my birth-mother, Evie or Evelyn was, were the positive power of social media and the kindness of strangers. Sometimes social media gets a bad rap but, in the main, we have found it to be positive and supportive. Divisive times such as American elections, the UK’s Brexit and the ‘pandemic’ have sadly polarised opinions, and constant negativity in the mainstream media has caused people to feel stressed, frightened and angry. The outcome or by-product of this is that folks lash out on social media (a) because they can and (b) because they’re frightened and stressed.
Staying down in the Algarve for six weeks is providing a fantastic opportunity for us to explore the area where Evie had retired to when she left the UK. We had previously found out ~ 6 months ago from my cousin where her aunt, Evie, had lived in Portugal. So we arranged to stay only about 20 minutes away from there. I posted on some niche Facebook groups, one of which was an expat group, another which is a regional group for the area near where she lived. A photograph of Evie and a little bit of background about her and why I was searching for those who knew her yielded results within an hour or two! I had lots of post ‘likes’ and people commenting that they thought they knew her or knew someone who knew her, and they would get back to me! I was really pleased and so grateful for the kindness of people who wanted to be supportive and assist in any way they could.
Through Facebook, we found the son of Evie’s next-door neighbour here. It transpires that his mum looked after Evie towards the end of her life and even took on her cute dog called Bambi when my birth-mum transitioned. I believe the mother and son were also helpful regarding post-death activities / paperwork to Eve’s two nieces, one of whom inherited her home. (I’d had no contact with my birth-mother.) Another strange coincidence was that a woman from Canada posted in one of these Facebook groups that she used to come on holiday to a property very close by Evie’s house and it transpired that her uncle had sold the home to my birth mum and then bought it back again when the niece who inherited it sold it. Evie’s next-door neighbour’s son (still with me?!) even offered for my wife and I to stay with them and explore the area, but as we’re only 20 minutes away, it wasn’t necessary, but it was an incredibly kind thought and typical of the Portuguese we’ve met so far.
So we should be going to visit the area, see the house where she spent her retirement years, and learn more about her over the next few weeks. I know almost nothing about her in truth….. Stories about Evie picking up her (now deceased) sister from Faro airport on a scooter or moped are just the kind of thing that will be fun to hear. So far it seems she loved flowers, (her house was even called ‘house of flowers’ in Portuguese), cats and dogs and a glass of wine, (not sure in which order of priority!) all of which speak to me enormously! Genes will out…. I have to say I’m feeling a little nervous about meeting people who knew her. I suppose part of that is because they knew her whereas I didn’t, and I feel that I should, and one only wants to hear good things about people who are important in your life. Like us all, she was only human so I’m not expecting perfection. I know I’m certainly not perfect, but I’m hoping to hear pleasant things.
My adoptive parents Pammy & Freddy Grace set the bar really high as they were wonderfully kind and thoughtful people….. Once I hear more stories about her I’ll report back for blog instalment number three. Exciting times! Wish me luck….
